Post by Doctor Schmitt on Jun 29, 2012 9:42:17 GMT -5
Pandas, he decided, are adorable.
Not because of how soft they are. Or the overgrown teddy bear aspect. Or even the coloring. Or the endangered ness. Or the paws. Or the ears. Or the fact that they weren't even bears.
It was because they were lazy bastards.
They existed purely to eat bamboo, and sleep. Nothing more. It was fantastically stupid and cute! Pandas needed Bamboo. Bamboo...well, the thoughts and wants of plants were in a realm of possibilities that he could only access when sufficiently stoned or tripped out on a combination of chemicals deemed illegal in most civilized states and societies.
Not in Antarctica, though. That was a fantastic place to go for spirit-quests. Well, not "SPIRIT" spirit quests, but the 'smoke a metric ton of peyote and see shit' spirit quest.
The point in which being that when Dr. Devin Schmitt first appeared on the grounds of Firefox University for the first time in years, he was riding what looked to be a domesticated Rhinoceros with the coloring of a panda. And in addition to his standard blue robes, he was wearing what looked to be a hat either converted from a pair of Mickey Mouse ears to resemble a panda, or something hastily bought from some trend shop in Japan or China or where-the-fuck-ever-how-was-I-supposed-to-know? Certainly the Rhino didn't know. Perhaps it did. Who knows? So long as it was hitched up in the Archway with some Bamboo-styled munch to graze on, it was happy. It probably didn't even realize it was painted black and white.
The man looked as if he hadn't aged a day, standing nearly seven feet tall and walking with a staff that looked as if it had seen its fair share of wear-and-tear. (IT RHYMED) It also looked as if the top of the staff had a miniature panda-hat of its own. The tall gentleman held a cigarette lit between his teeth, the smoke rising straight up and vanishing, being filtered magically most likely.
It was HIS smoke. Others need not bother with it. Or have to deal with it. Or steal it. Or seduce it. Or make shapes out of it THOUGH that would be fun. It would be tacked onto the Doctor's 'To-Do-List' sometime in the future.
Either way, he whisked himself into the Castle, stole by the kitchens, grabbed a Tofu-Turkey-Burger which he ate half of and fed the other half to the Rhino. After which he swung by the lavatories, did his business, sang the 'Nessun Dorma' aria from Puccini's little show using the magnificent acoustics of the lavatories - charmed the sinks to act as his chorus, before FINALLY moving on up towards the Headmaster's office.
However he stopped outside to have a LOVELY conversation with the stone phoenix. OH the catching they had to do! They talked about their lives over the past few years, the people who'd come, gone. They talked about life. Love. Philosophy. Honestly he could have spent the whole day talking to the Stone Phoenix, but unfortunately the Good Doctor had to make an appointment with the Headmaster. Mistress. Whatever. He knew Talon was off galavanting in government gobbledigook grandoisely, and that someone new had taken over. It was time to meet them.
And get his job back. Or any job. Or even a commission. Or a date. Or a panda. He hoped for the latter two but did not hold high hopes. Headmasters/mistresses were not known to carry more than one panda around at any given time in his experience.
Where was he again?
Right. Headmaster....stress...whatever. Dr. Schmitt planted his staff in the ground - it standing straight up without needing holding (oh magic we love you) and he began to knock.
Not the simple, "Knock Knock - Wait" or "Knock-Knock-Knock - Wait" or "Knock knock-de-knock-knock....knock-knock!" No no. He began knocking. And wouldn't stop. In fact he built up a happy, light, constant tempo with his knocking.
*Knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-*
Knock's a silly word spelled out, you know.
Not because of how soft they are. Or the overgrown teddy bear aspect. Or even the coloring. Or the endangered ness. Or the paws. Or the ears. Or the fact that they weren't even bears.
It was because they were lazy bastards.
They existed purely to eat bamboo, and sleep. Nothing more. It was fantastically stupid and cute! Pandas needed Bamboo. Bamboo...well, the thoughts and wants of plants were in a realm of possibilities that he could only access when sufficiently stoned or tripped out on a combination of chemicals deemed illegal in most civilized states and societies.
Not in Antarctica, though. That was a fantastic place to go for spirit-quests. Well, not "SPIRIT" spirit quests, but the 'smoke a metric ton of peyote and see shit' spirit quest.
The point in which being that when Dr. Devin Schmitt first appeared on the grounds of Firefox University for the first time in years, he was riding what looked to be a domesticated Rhinoceros with the coloring of a panda. And in addition to his standard blue robes, he was wearing what looked to be a hat either converted from a pair of Mickey Mouse ears to resemble a panda, or something hastily bought from some trend shop in Japan or China or where-the-fuck-ever-how-was-I-supposed-to-know? Certainly the Rhino didn't know. Perhaps it did. Who knows? So long as it was hitched up in the Archway with some Bamboo-styled munch to graze on, it was happy. It probably didn't even realize it was painted black and white.
The man looked as if he hadn't aged a day, standing nearly seven feet tall and walking with a staff that looked as if it had seen its fair share of wear-and-tear. (IT RHYMED) It also looked as if the top of the staff had a miniature panda-hat of its own. The tall gentleman held a cigarette lit between his teeth, the smoke rising straight up and vanishing, being filtered magically most likely.
It was HIS smoke. Others need not bother with it. Or have to deal with it. Or steal it. Or seduce it. Or make shapes out of it THOUGH that would be fun. It would be tacked onto the Doctor's 'To-Do-List' sometime in the future.
Either way, he whisked himself into the Castle, stole by the kitchens, grabbed a Tofu-Turkey-Burger which he ate half of and fed the other half to the Rhino. After which he swung by the lavatories, did his business, sang the 'Nessun Dorma' aria from Puccini's little show using the magnificent acoustics of the lavatories - charmed the sinks to act as his chorus, before FINALLY moving on up towards the Headmaster's office.
However he stopped outside to have a LOVELY conversation with the stone phoenix. OH the catching they had to do! They talked about their lives over the past few years, the people who'd come, gone. They talked about life. Love. Philosophy. Honestly he could have spent the whole day talking to the Stone Phoenix, but unfortunately the Good Doctor had to make an appointment with the Headmaster. Mistress. Whatever. He knew Talon was off galavanting in government gobbledigook grandoisely, and that someone new had taken over. It was time to meet them.
And get his job back. Or any job. Or even a commission. Or a date. Or a panda. He hoped for the latter two but did not hold high hopes. Headmasters/mistresses were not known to carry more than one panda around at any given time in his experience.
Where was he again?
Right. Headmaster....stress...whatever. Dr. Schmitt planted his staff in the ground - it standing straight up without needing holding (oh magic we love you) and he began to knock.
Not the simple, "Knock Knock - Wait" or "Knock-Knock-Knock - Wait" or "Knock knock-de-knock-knock....knock-knock!" No no. He began knocking. And wouldn't stop. In fact he built up a happy, light, constant tempo with his knocking.
*Knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-*
Knock's a silly word spelled out, you know.