Post by Morgan Pendragon on Apr 28, 2009 21:42:08 GMT -5
It is said that one's friends speak loudly about the kind of person one is. Nowhere is this truer than in those formative adolescent years. One's friends at this time meant the world. Your friends, your real friends, could be be a more accurate representsentation of who you were than your clothes, words or even actions were. Your friends embodied both who you thought you were and who you wanted to be.
Morgan was thinking about friends lately. She didn't have many of them, but that was okay. She was comfortable with who she was. And she had people to turn to if she needed to. The problem was that she wasn't willing to turn to them. She was like Ashelle in that way. She didn't want people to think she was weak. Maybe it was her independent streak.
Currently, her ruminations on friends were occuring in the bath. At last she was back to bathing regularly, after her seclusion and subsequent filthy, greasy state. Morgan sank into the water gratefully. She was wearing one of her bikinis; a fairly modest skyblue one trimmed in white. It was at least two years old, but it was the only one that came close to fitting properly. She really needed to eat more.
Post by Professor O'Conner on Apr 29, 2009 16:18:33 GMT -5
Though Ashelle had always valued cleanlines she'd usually made do with showers, a bath had been a treat to her, even after she became Prefect. However, now she was an O'Conner and she well remembered witnessing her Aunt Ashlee's meticulous hand washing ritual after having her nails and hands caked with grim from helping prepare a mash for Gram Fiona's Winged Horses. To be clean had a two pronged effect; one it made you socially acceptable and desirable. Two it allowed one be closer to Goddess and therefore made one's magic more potent. Grand Miranda had told her that when she'd asked about Aunt Ashlee's hand cleansing. She had decided then and there that baths weren't as optional as she had once believed them to be.
Because of these experiences, Ashelle now brought two bags with her to the Prefects bath at least once a week if not more. One held all her clothes, towels, a brush and her bathing suit -she'd purchased a new red/gold bikini-in case someone walked in on her. The other held an assortment of soaps and shampoos, creams and conditioners. Ashelle had vowed to have the same sort of magical 'glow' about her as her Aunt Ashlee and her Grand Miranda did . . . even if she could only manage it once a week.
Ashlee changed in the girls changing area and gathering her bag of soaps, walked into the bathing area . . . only to find her old friend/enemy/stranger Morgan Pendragon sitting in the bath. She froze and stared at Morgan - her face clearing telling of the fear she held of being told to 'get out NOW'! The enraged demand didn't come however. Perhaps Morgan hadn't heard that she and Mal had gotten together? Still she couldn't just stand there and pretend nothing had happened - nor could she leave if she wanted that magical clean that her Grand and Aunt had.
"Please excuse me," she said and put the bag of soaps down. "I don't mean to intrude on you." Ashelle felt knots in her stomach beginning to tighten and a lump coming to her throat. She took a deep breath, and sighed. "I just want to say - I am sorry . . . for everything." She stood there and waited for whatever return Morgan chose to make to her - though she imagined it couldn't be good.
Post by Morgan Pendragon on May 3, 2009 18:24:58 GMT -5
Morgan heard someone come in and go to the changing room, but the Ravenclaw didn't move. The bath was pleasantly warm, and the bubbles were scented with vanilla and lavender, her favorite combination. She had settled herself in the bath to have a good view of the entrance from the changing rooms. She submerged momentarily, in order to rinse the shampoo out of her platinum hair. She could see who was in here with her before she moved to apply the conditioner. In the meantime, she checked to make sure that she had in fact gotten all of the shampoo out.
In time, the mystery girl was revealed to be the scarlet-headed Ashelle. Morgan smiled at her warmly. It had been so long since they had last spoken. She blushed a bit as she recalled that afternoon in the stables. Still, that too, was pushed aside in her mind. What had happened that day had happened, and there was no cause to feel embarassed about it. Even if Morgan did think Ashelle looked fantastic in her new bathing suit.
"You're not intruding," Morgan said invitingly. "Come on in. The water's fine." Ashelle responded by sighing heavily, and then uttered something completely uncomprihensable. "What are you sorry for? I told you you weren't bothering me. What are you going on about?" This last was asked with a casual, easy, light-hearted air.
Post by Professor O'Conner on May 3, 2009 18:58:04 GMT -5
Ashelle's eyes flew open wide and it suddenly came back to her what had happened between she and Morgan, just before spring. He face quickly turned a bright apple red. Why did her memory love to play tricks on her like this. It really wasn't fair why couldn't she have been blessed with a Photographic Memory like Aunt Ashlee.
"I-I-I . . ." she stammered. How could Morgan be so nonchalant about it all? It was like . . . she didn't care how people saw her or something. That or she was head over heals for someone. Maybe both? Ashelle swallowed.
"Nothing, never-mind," she mumbled and made to pick up her bag when she remembered Morgan had invited her in. Eep! How could she ask such a thing after everything they'd said and done? Still offending her fellow Prefect was the last thing she wanted to do. There was the Head Girl-ship to think about after all . . . but besides that she was an O'Conner now and Ashelle couldn't bring herself to let her new Aunt and Grand down.
Ashelle smiled and lowered herself into the bath, trying to relax. Despite the sweet smells or vanilla and lavender however relaxation refused to come. She sat and shivered like it was actually cold in there. Stiff as a board, she found herself unable to even open the pretty soaps she had purchased.
Why do I feel this way? Why can't I be like Morgan and just brush things off and not care about my reputation? Ashelle thought holding her skinny legs close to her chest. She hoped she wouldn't be like this forever. Maybe one day she would be able to look back on her life and laugh just like Aunt Ashlee.
Post by Morgan Pendragon on May 3, 2009 20:13:17 GMT -5
Morgan was not oblivious to the history she and Ashelle shared. However, she had just decided that that is what it would remain--history. All of it, the classes they'd attended together, the whole Malachy thing, that lovely afternoon in the barn; she wasn't going to bring anything up...unless Ashelle insisted. Morgan couldn't very well pretend nothing had ever happened between them, could she?
Ashelle's manner made Morgan giggle. "You know that I wasn't ordering you to stay. If you really want to leave, you can." Again, the carefree manner. Then she added an almost wistful tone to her voice. "But I wish you would stay." She looked at Ashelle with puppy eyes, pleading for her to remain.
She went over to where Ashelle sat, stiff and gaurded. The redhead's posture was completely at odds with Morgan's laidback attitude. The blonde smiled widely. "Maybe we should start over, 'kay?" She stuck out her wet, soapy hand. "Hi. My name is Morgan. It's a pleasure to meet you." It wasn't a very seventeen year old gesture, but Morgan figured that she was legally an adult now; she ought to act like it. "By the way, that bikini looks absolutely fabulous on you. Where'd you get it?"
Post by Professor O'Conner on May 4, 2009 22:24:45 GMT -5
Ashelle looked at Morgan oddly for a moment. Then she slowly took Morgan's offered hand and shook it. "My name is Ashelle O'Conner," she said. Wow, that sounded really really good. She smiled slightly. If Morgan wanted to bury the past, maybe she should be happy about it. After all, if any of what happened got out -Ashelle tried not to flinch at the thought- her reputation was shot. It's not like Ashelle wasn't familiar with having a secret - heck, she was a bloody expert at it.
"I bought this suit from my family's Seamstress, they have a satellite shop in Diagon Alley." Still something didn't feel right. Aunt Ashlee had told her not to bury the past. If it hurt it was best to talk it out - past hurts could eat away at you. Still it wasn't just her own secret she was keeping. Maybe once she graduated Ashelle could find Morgan and talk to her about everything. After all by then personal reputation mattered less than in school.
"Ummm, how was your day?" Perhaps it was because it had always been hard for Ashelle to relax that she was finding it so now. Nevertheless she unwound herself with an effort and streched her legs out into the pool. It was nice and warm . . .
Post by Morgan Pendragon on May 5, 2009 16:16:24 GMT -5
Morgan was pleased that Ashelle seemed to be relaxing a bit more and enjoying the warmth of the bath. The Ravenclaw herself often relieved her stress by taking a bath. Especially in one so aromatic as the one they were currently in. The sweet smells of vanilla laced with lavender permeated the air. Still, the redhead seemed very tense. Perhaps she had reservations about burying their shared past. Morgan could understand that, not too long ago she was as tightly wound as Ashelle.
"Ashelle, if you want, we can talk about what ever you like. I just thought you might be uncomfortable with me. After all, we do share a little history. I was hoping we could let bygones be bygones. However, if you feel something is unresolved then please let me know so I can fix it." Morgan's maternal manner had reasserted itself. She wanted to be friends again. Ashelle was an all right sort of person.
Certainly, Morticia wanted Morgan to be friends with her. They had always been close with the Dwyres, but Morticia Pendragon wanted more. She wanted her daughters to marry O'Conners. This, of course, is why Morgan had yet to mention Lucius to her parents. A demonhost with no family to speak of was hardly the sort of boy Morgan's mother would approve of.
Post by Professor O'Conner on May 6, 2009 17:21:08 GMT -5
Ashelle looked like she was about to say something, then paused. After thinking for a bit She again opened her mouth . . . but no words came out. Ashelle thought for a long time.
"Am I truly backward?" she asked not only of Morgan but of herself. "I mean ... pleasure is so valued, right? Yet it seems to me that this same pleasure can destroy everything you work so hard for. On top of that if you don't 'seize the day' it can be incredibly hard to 'find' later in life when people who would've looked down on you before for partaking now couldn't care less what you do in that area of your life. It's just ... confusing me. That among other things - I need to have long talks with my Grand and Aunt Ashlee. I get the strangest feeling despite the great differences in our lives Aunt Ashlee will understand what I mean and be able to help me. I wish she was a Professor here." Ashelle paused for a moment sighing into the bubbles.
"What is the point, Morgan? I mean, when I stand back and look at myself, I begin to think all I am striving for not only doesn't make sense but is making me look odd in the eyes of my peers. But they I look to the sort of futures those same peers maybe heading for if they keep to their paths ... and I positively shudder. I don't want to drive the Knight Bus for a living or have a desk job pushing papers for the Ministry with 4 or more griping, whiny children who are only 16 or 17 years younger than me relying solely on my paycheck to get them through school. I used to think we were better than that Morgan. I honestly did. Does than make me delusional or naive? Am I driven or just stupid? Is cardinal pleasure the point of life even in the Wizarding World? That would -really- be rather awful. I personally would not see the point of having a secret from Muggles if we weren't slightly better on some level." Ashelle looked sadly at the stained glass window. She was beginning to feel a great deal more let down by her fellow wizards and witches than she ever had before. Suddenly she turned and looked at Morgan with a sardonic smile.
"if you can't answer any of those questions, it's ok. But I will warn you now I have more where those came from."
Post by Morgan Pendragon on May 10, 2009 9:00:01 GMT -5
"Ashelle, what are you talking about? I wasn't suggesting any that. I only meant to renew our friendship." Morgan was slightly perturbed by her friend's stream of questioning. The Ravenclaw had never really thought about that. But now she was an adult as scary as that might seem. Could she really keep on living on her parent's money? Would she be happy doing that? On the other hand, what else could she do? She was the eldest, it was expected of her to take over as the head of the family. Morgan suddenly understood why Morticia had always been so demanding of her, and so lenient with Gwyn.
"Maybe you're right. I had never really thought about those things before. However, I don't think life really boils down to 'nothing but cardinal pleasure'. I can't believe that wizarding folk could really live like that. I think it's more like they're just people. Just because they can do magic doesn't mean they're inherently perfect, or even that they're any better than muggles really." Morgan thought a little about her response. She never really believed wizards to be superior in any way to muggles.
After a moment, Morgan spoke again. This time, she had some questions of her own. "Is that why you broke up with Navara? Because you were afraid? Afraid of getting married young? Afraid of starting a family too soon?" Not that she had any room to talk. She went through boys the way most people went through shoes. Of course, Lucius was different. At least, she hoped so. But could she really see herself getting married to him? That was ridiculous, of course she could. She wanted to marry him. The question really was: could she see herself getting married to him so soon? And she didn't have an answer for that.
Post by Professor O'Conner on May 10, 2009 15:09:13 GMT -5
Ashelle looked at Morgan oddly, one eyebrow arched for a moment. "Morgan I didn't mean us two, personally. I was thinking about talking about what we've been though but I changed my mind as I don't think I could ever really put some of that stuff into words. I was talking in general. But yes, I do wish we could be friends again, I have been very worried about you."
Ashelle stopped there and thought about Morgans questions about Navara. She had made a bold and stupid decision when she'd broken up with him and she knew that. Perhaps Malachy was a pureblood and perhaps he was closer to her own age but really that was no excuse. Nav had a job, Nav was approved of by the O'Conners and Nav had been willing to wait for her. She thrown him away like so much rubbish and for what? She hated to admit it but it was for empty pleasure -not cardinal pleasure perhaps- but what did Malachy have other than his Pureblood status? No job, the O'Conners had no knowledge of him, and whenever they met Mal didn't seem like he was the type who liked to wait. It was only a matter of time before he left her for someone . . . less prudish.
"No," she finally said, "Nav said he would wait for me. I . . . " She didn't want to admit she'd acted like a ordinary Muggle teen. Then again did it matter? Morgan had just admitted she didn't think wizards and witches were better than Muggles.
. . . .
No it did matter. Maybe most Wizards and Witches wished to act on their base natures but she would not! She was of Triad blood! She would exemplify the Triad Ideal if it killed her! Unfortunately one of the highest virtues in the Ideals was Truth.
"Well I for one won't act upon my base nature. I will be better than Muggles and I will start now by admitting my mistakes and learning from them. I broke up with Navara because we rarely saw each other and Mal made me feel . . . very nice. I did act on my base nature in that situation but I never will again - at least not without carefully weighing all the alternatives first." Ashelle was again silent for a long moment.
"Since I have admitted that I acted without thinking, do you think I ought to break up with Malachy? I do like him . . . and I am sure Navara would never take me back. Do you think I deserve to be lonely? Should I teach myself a lesson about breaking peoples hearts?" Ashelle looked at Morgan worriedly, like she was afraid Morgan would agree with her.
Post by Morgan Pendragon on May 10, 2009 19:38:54 GMT -5
Morgan smiled kindly at her friend. "Ashelle, calm down. No one wants you to be lonely and miserable, not even Navara." Not even me, she thought, but didn't say. "If Malachy is what makes you happy, then you belong together. You shouldn't let anyone tell you what to do. Not even me, even if that's what it sounds like I'm doing. However, I will say that punishing yourself is not a good thing to do. It won't fix anything, and it will only hurt you in the end."
Morgan went back over to where her soaps and other assorted bath stuffs were lined along the side. She dunked her head underneath the water momentarily, and then came back up and began applying her conditioning hair potion. "Like you said, don't act on your base nature. If it helps you be a happy, well adjusted person, then that's the right thing for you."
Post by Professor O'Conner on May 12, 2009 22:06:44 GMT -5
Ashelle was puzzled by Morgans words. Happy? Well-adjusted? How did one know if one was well-adjusted? Ashelle was Happier than she had been before, but that was none of Mal's doing, it was because of her family. In face she wasn't even sure how she felt about Mal - except when she was in his arms. Up till now -in her 'in control' moments- she's chalked that up to dumb teenage hormones and figured she'd sort it out when she graduated in a couple years.
Knowing she couldn't stay in the nice scented water forever, Ashelle followed Morgan's example and went to the edge of the small pool sized tub to wash her hair. The Hair Potion was tingly and smelled like eucalyptus as she worked it into her hair.
"Morgan, what is happiness?" she asked finally. "How does one 'find it'? It seems to me that happiness comes and goes and when it's gone you wonder if it was just a dream - especially if it's a happiness found in a loves embrace. When I am with Mal I think - I don't think, I feel so nice. When he doesn't come around it's like, 'Why do I let myself do that? Why did I feel that way?' Worst of all sometimes I wonder if I deserve to feel that way or if feeling things like that is good or bad."
Ashelle's scrubbing had gotten slower and slower as she ruminated on the subject. This was worse than the time her breasts had begun growing in and after extensive research she'd found that all the 'cures' were either permanent, had dangerous side effects, or only helped one thing and shouldn't be taken with other 'cures'.
Post by Morgan Pendragon on May 23, 2009 12:13:46 GMT -5
Morgan let silence fall for a moment as she gathered her thoughts. She finished scrubbing and did her final rinse. "Well," she began simply, "I suppose it might be different for other people, but for me...happiness is this warm, peaceful feeling. Like being wrapped up in a fluffy blanket after you've been cold for a long time. When I'm really happy, it feels like there could never be another bad thing in the world again."
She smiled, thinking about all the things that made her really happy. Flying. Lucius. Auntie Adelle. Warm baths with vanilla and lavender. Good friends. She dunked her head under one last time--just for good measure--and then she hoped up on the side of the bath. Her feet still trailed in the water, like a little kid at a swimming pool.
"And," she continued, "You don't find happiness. Happiness finds you. Sometimes it finds you in the most unlikely places too. The best place to start looking, as far as I've found, is outside of yourself. When you make someone else happy, you can usually feel happiness too. Although, I'm not sure what you should do about Malachy. What you're decribing is love, which can make you happy, but it can also make you a little crazy. I should know. I've done my share of crazy things because I thought I was in love."
Once again, she was struck by the difference between Lucius and her previous relationships. And not just the fact that he wasn't a Slytherin either. With Lucius, she was free to be herself. With Lucre, Shadow, and even Malachy, she'd always felt a need to be someone different. More glamourous or darker or more devious. With Lucius, she didn't have to pretend. He loved her just as much in her torn jeans a a quidditch tee, as he did when she got dolled up.
She pulled her feet out of the water, and began to dry herself. "Like I said before, only you know what's right for you. You'll know happiness when it finds you." She gathered up her things. "I have to go, Ash. I'm late getting to the library, and I have a ton of make-up work to do before finals. See you later?"
Post by Professor O'Conner on May 23, 2009 22:06:01 GMT -5
Somehow Ashelle didn't think it was that easy. Still who was she to keep Morgan from her studies?
"Ok, see you later. Good luck studying." Ashelle went back to washing her hair and wondered why things like this seemed so easy for Morgan. She rinsed her hair in the water reached for the next Potion and dropped the bottle almost instantly. Morgan had said she had said she was in love! Ashelle grabbed the edge of the tub like she was afraid she'd drown. What . . . how could this have happened? Where was her sense of judgment! What would the O'Conner say? Ashelle felt a sense of panic rise up in her like a animal that has been newly caught and caged. What could she do!
She took a deep breath and looked around herself. One thing was for sure, there was nothing she could do here . . . and -thank goddess- he couldn't find her while she was in here. Yes that was the ticket. Wash now, panic later in bed. With all these different hair potions and body soaps to try it was bound to take a while before she got to bed anyway.DERP!
Teagan Offline: This board is full of nostalgia.
Aug 22, 2020 8:39:09 GMT -5
Missing the old MH: gotta say missing when MH and all that was around.
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Willow_lazy: why tf are there 400 posts about adidas
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Azrael: I'm not hard to find, since I'm the only one there who goes by "Azzy", I'm pretty sure. XD
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Azrael: Dunno if anyone still pops by here from time to time, but if any of you mofos do and still feel like gettin' yo nerd on, I've been hanging around this here place a bunch recently: www.roleplayerguild.com/
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Azrael: hold onto your pantaloons
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