Dear Santa, Jeremy thought, carrying his bag of ... objects ... down the stairs to the hall near the Potions class. Chunks of coal are so last year. I think smoke bombs would make a more suitable punishment to bad little girls.
At that point he began to belt out music at random, seeming to be on an Elvis line. His wand, like a sword, had been jammed into his belt, in a spiffy little dragon skin holster. Hey, it looked pretty bad ass. His target - the girls bathroom. "I'll have a bluuueeeee Christmas - " Please not that Jeremy was in no way a fine singer. But still, it had to look pretty AWESOME.
"When they said you was high classed, well, that was just a lie. - AROOOOO!" Tapping the first bomb with his wand, he kicked open the door of the bathroom and launched it. Whether there was actually anyone inside or not was irrelevant. The smell would wig 'em out. After all, it was the dungeon - there weren't any kind of outside leading vents or such down here.
With another Hound Dog howl he launched another handful. Thick, violet smoke leaked from under the door. Jeremy jammed his santa hat farther down over his head and took off on a sprint. Something fell from the bag and he stumbled, nearly crashing in to a wall.
Not awesome.
What was the point of this attack? Nothing. Jeremy was just ...
Post by Phugsius Charadus on Sept 18, 2010 14:16:17 GMT -5
And that student filled with boredom would soon find himself on the bad side of the Slytherin prefect, Phugsius Charadus. Phugsius had recently lost touch with the wizard community, as it was such, the black-haired and now clean shaven teen decided that reading a few newspapers from past months would be a good idea. Sitting in the chill lounge of the common room a distinct odor seemed to leak into the scene.
Sitting up from the green recliner, a look of disgust crossed the prefects face. This wasn't the smell of a dead body, or anything coincidental, this was sabotage. Dawning his prefect cloak and dapper detective cap, Phugsius went right to work investigating the surrounding dungeon. It wasn't long, of course, until he encountered a snide looking Gryffindor stumbling and bumbling over himself. This was certainly a change. Normally it was the damn Ravens that pissed Phugsius off, not the fool-hardy Gryffindor.
Crossing his arms, Phugsius gave the fool his "What the fuck are you doing here?" look.
Phugsius' mind went to work under his mop of black hair. There were two ways of dealing with this kid. Chances are since he was a Gryffindor it would take a severe beating or measure of violence to get the point across. The other option was to try and coerce the young man into trying to fix the situation himself. the latter option was ruled right out.
A certain sting was added to Phugsius' voice to make it clear this sort of shit would not be tolerated. "So, can you explain to me why there is purple smoke oozing throughout the halls of the dungeon? I assume you're the one that did it, because no one from my house is dumb enough to smoke bomb our own living area, or to smoke bomb anything in general."
Phugsius noticed that the smoke had begun migrating into their particular hallway. "I really hope you can come up with a good explanation, but it's doubtful." Drawing his wand, Phugsius readied himself to restrain the jack ass. If the House of Slytherin was going to suffer, the moron that caused the suffering was at least going to join them.
Jeremy didn't seem to realize exactly how much trouble he was in. The look certainly went WHOOSH over Jeremy's head. He gave a sheepish grin, wondering how not awesome this situation could turn. "It gives the hall a little color, ya? I mean." He gestured around to the bland walls. "Besides, the bathroom smells. I'm just fixing up the scenery."
(JACKASS)
Whistling to himself, Jeremy glanced down the hall. "Maybe I overdid it," the Gryffindor admitted with a wider, if-possible-more-sheepish ... grin. Man, why did this guy have to look so pissed? Of all the people he might have ran in to down here he had to get pissy pants prefect.
"Hey, don't get too uptight," Jeremy said, eyeing the other wizard's wand. "It'll go away in a little bit. Well. Most of it. There might be a little bit in the bathroom till tomorrow ... " He shrugged. "So its got a couple of kinks in it. I'll work on it. Next time I'll just hit somewhere else." He brightened. WHOOSH. "I bet I could get someone for you, turn their ears purple, you know."
A bomb dropped (UNINTENTIONAL PUN) and Jeremy glanced down, noticing that both of them seemed to have ... lit upon impact with the floor. "Oh damn. I got this." With a wave of his wand, the nearest bomb exploded. The other bomb turned into a neon orange Angora Rabbit. He stared, dumbfounded.
"Huh. Well." He scratched his head, nearly catching his hair on fire (since he was holding the wand in that hand). "That's never happened before."
Post by Phugsius Charadus on Sept 19, 2010 7:25:58 GMT -5
"It gives the hall a little color, ya? I mean. Besides, the bathroom smells. I'm just fixing up the scenery."
A scowl crossed Phugsius' face at the previous remark and went almost so far as to scoff at the preposterous excuse the Gryffindor had undoubtedly thought up on the spot. "If The Headmaster, Potions master, or anyone from Slytherin wanted the halls redecorated or filled with smelly, colored smoke, believe me, it would have been done long before this act of idiocy. We like our dungeon the way it is: devoid of color-" The prefect paused and his face formed into a one of hearty discontent as the smoke began gathering around the two boys in the hall, "and devoid of that atrocious smell."
"So its got a couple of kinks in it. I'll work on it. Next time I'll just hit somewhere else. I bet I could get someone for you, turn their ears purple, you know."
"That's the last thing we-" Phugsius stopped speaking as the dumb ass in front of him dropped both of his bombs, and quickly disposed of them, turning one into a neon orange rabbit.
Facepalming harder than ever before, Phugsius let out a sigh. The neon-orange conjured rabbit abomination decided the best idea in this situation was to start hopping on over to the Black-haired prefect.
Glaring at the fool in front of him a very annoyed voice emerged from the prefect. Flaunting his authority wasn't going to do any good here. A simple demand should suffice, for now. "Just fix this... whatever your name is. I want all this smoke out of here, now. I can already hear the complaints I'm going to get about it. Don't make me ask again." Phugsius, of course, knew there was going to be some snarky or smart remark, on the way there always was with these Gryffindor fools.
With those words Phugsius gave a quick whistle and after a few moments Seraphinus, the mini-panther, was upon the rabbit, tearing into it, and turning it's Neon orange coat a blood-red.
As neon orange fur turned scarlet and blood spattered the floor, Jeremy made a face. "Dude, that's way out of line. The rabbit didn't do anything. What do you think the Boss Man is going to be more pissed about. A little smoke - " With a wave of his wand, a vacuum sort of reaction went down, sucking up the smoke into the wand tip "- or a slaughtered rabbit? PETA going to be all over your ass."
Jeremy nodded, as if full behind what he was saying. Honestly, he cared only a smidgen about said rabbit. Sure, it was kind of depressing, and rather a bit of overkill, but still! It was just a rabbit! Jeremy shook his head, tsked a few times, and glanced around. Some kind of purple glow clung to the walls, but other than that, the smoke bombs seem to have left behind no trace.
Well, except for the shards of rabbit fur. Jeremy made another face and used a quick scrougify spell to rid the hall of the mess. A violet hue lurked still. Well. That was just going to have to be there. At least it wasn't too bright, barely noticeable in fact ....
What was he talking about it was like someone had busted a thousand glow sticks all over the wall.
Jeremy muttered a quick spell out of the side of his mouth, and with a flick of his wand, sent a jet of bright purple steam at the panther. Served the pussy right. He crossed his arms over his chest.
"It's Jeremy." He scowled. "I hope the cat gets indigestion. Eating a smoke bomb rabbit shouldn't be good for it." He could just imagine the ashy, sludgy puke the cat would produce. Why would someone bring something like that to school anyway? Eating innocent rabbits. He shook his head, tsked again. Geez.
Post by Phugsius Charadus on Sept 21, 2010 20:01:28 GMT -5
Phugsius smiled as this "Jeremy" in front of him became visibly upset as his rabbit was torn apart. "It's not a rabbit you fool. It's a bomb turned into a rabbit, or don't you remember doing that?" Apparently Jeremy did remember since he then he turned the rabbit back into what it used to be, a bomb. Phugsius scowled again at that new development.
Seraphinus was not amused by the fact his meal had begun to cause the unsettling churning in his stomach. The kneazle lay over on his side, fatigued by the ordeal. Picking his Kneazle up Phugsius gave it's black fur a few soft strokes. Looking away from the tiny panther, the prefects angry emerald eyes settled on Jeremy's. "How can you preach animal rights for something that wasn't an animal to begin with, and then sit there and give my poor kneazle indigestion? The hypocrisy of it all is baffling."
Taking, what looked like, a pink jelly bean out of his pocket, Phugsius began forcing it into the beleaguered kneazle's mouth. Eventually the pill made it into Seraphinus' mouth.
Looking at the Kneazle Phugsius spoke with the utmost sympathy. "Sorry, bud. I was going to save this for an obnoxious Ravenclaw, but it looks like you're gonna have to bite this bullet. You'll feel better afterward." Suddenly the cats eyes widened and without warning, Phugsius spun the cat around in his arms just as a spray of glowing pink poo began spewing all over Jeremy from the kneazles ass. It glopped and glooped and made terribly gross splatting sounds as it made contact with the walls and surrounding objects, minus Phugsius himself being that he held the kneazle like Scarface held his machine gun.
After the barrage of poo finished the spewing, Phugsius dropped Seraphinus onto the ground. The black kneazle immediately b-lined for the common room in fear. "Looks like he had a bad case of explosive diarrhea. Get it? It's a bomb joke!" Revenge for Phugsius was quite the thrill.
"Dude the cat shouldn't have eaten it, what did the rabbit do to it?" He blinked a few times, scowling. Jeremy Kullman didn't scowl, so naturally it did look rather out of place on his face. The Gryffindor watched with interest. "Besides, I didn't turn it back on purpose."
He held up a wand with chinks in it, shrugged again, and stared at the ceiling for a few seconds. Man, maybe he could rig up a sprinkler system that shot out green goop. Green goop .... That was from some movie, but he didn't remember what. It involved some lady hollering and shaking a walking stick and yelling something about 'gloop' or 'goop'.
Speaking of goop.
Jeremy shut his eyes on a reflex, throwing up an arm. At least that kept most of his face clean. He'd seen Phugsius slip the little cat something, but he hadn't been sure what. Well now he knew. When the whole barrage was finished, Jeremy put down his arm, and glanced around the mess of a hallway.
A normal reaction would have been to berate Phugsius about how he should behave better, set an example, he was after all a prefect - all that shit. But. As we already know.
THIS WAS JEREMY FUCKING KULLMAN.
"DUDE." Jeremy threw up his arms, looking practically ectastic. "What did you give him, this is freaking AWESOME!" He almost examined the poo further, but man, that stuff stunk. Oh the things he could do with this stuff. Jeremy didn't point out that it was rather obvious it was bomb-joke and that Phugsius sounded like an idiot.
Because this goop was fucking awesome.
With a wave of his wand, Jeremy cleaned up a good amount of it, leaving some stuck to the brick and a patch on the floor. Pulling a vial (out of his bag maybe, whoknows) he scooped it up and examined. Man. Maybe he could figure out how to replicate it.
"Where did you get this, do they sell it or did you make it?" Jeremy asked, completely ignored the fact that he'd just been hosed with pink poop.
Teagan Offline: This board is full of nostalgia.
Aug 22, 2020 8:39:09 GMT -5
Missing the old MH: gotta say missing when MH and all that was around.
Nov 6, 2019 0:02:30 GMT -5
Willow_lazy: why tf are there 400 posts about adidas
Sept 6, 2018 17:35:57 GMT -5
Azrael: I'm not hard to find, since I'm the only one there who goes by "Azzy", I'm pretty sure. XD
Feb 10, 2018 16:44:41 GMT -5
Azrael: Dunno if anyone still pops by here from time to time, but if any of you mofos do and still feel like gettin' yo nerd on, I've been hanging around this here place a bunch recently: www.roleplayerguild.com/
Feb 10, 2018 16:44:10 GMT -5
Azrael: hold onto your pantaloons
Jul 25, 2016 5:16:43 GMT -5