Post by Roan on Apr 17, 2006 20:39:40 GMT -5
It was all over. In those few moments it ended so quickly. She had her head down and was just trying to escape the troubles that were being heaved onto her shoulders. Trying to escape the pain and the anguish that were in the eyes of her friends, trying to escape the guilt that was like an angry monster, tearing up at her inside. The Prefect was distant now, not noticing anything around her really until she heard the voices of the two. Neither sounded very happy and spoke in quieter tones, and then, as quickly as they had came, the two of them were gone, and Roan felt utterly alone. She had wanted them to go, yes, but she didnt want them hurt, she didnt want them worrying or anything. Her words hadnt been meant to injure, they had been meant to get a point across. But it seemed that the Hufflepuff couldnt even do that right, and it was so upseting for the girl that it was happening. She raised her head in time to see Rezna leave the Hospital Wing, and the girl felt as if her heart had plunged into her stomach. That was it, this was over.
She had shoved away her friends and done harm to them, when all they had done was care. Roan had not taken heed to how dangerously unstable her emotions had been at the time, not noticed how much pain she was causing. The girl was not stable in any aspect at the moment, not after that time with Syrus. It would take recovery for that before she was back to normal, and until then she would probably be very touchy about things like what she thought were orders. The Prefect hung her head again before slowly going in to lay back down on the bed, feeling hopeless. She realized she didnt want her friends gone, she wanted them by her side so that she had someone to talk to that would be kind about it and offer some support while she waited to tell her story to the Headmaster. But like every single battle she was in, like all conflict, Roan had messed up greatly, and ruined everything. Now she was alone for now, her friends had left her, and it was all her fault. Guilt was not what Roan needed right now, but she had to live with it.
Carrie was still there, but Roan had become more distant. She was barely aware she wasnt lying down when she layed back, but instead propped up by her own pillows. A good thing too, the girl was close to falling asleep as she lost all her will. Her hazel eyes were closed and there was anguish on her face as the stress just kept on piling on. Soon Roan would just lock herself in a padded room away from the world where no pain could come and damage her, and she could be whole again and recover. The covers were drawn up over the girl, and the Hufflepuff nodded in thanks, not wanting to do much more then that. It was nice to be in a bed and starting to warm up after all that had happened, getting some rest as she let weariness claim her body and her mind, rolling in like a fog. She was so upset though, her fever was rising and her breathing quickened. Roan didnt know what was going on, she just was so focused on the mistakes she had just made, and the pain she had just gone through in the past. Syrus's face was burned into her memory, and it was because of him she wasnt able to function properly. But this, getting on bad terms with her friends, that was Roan's fault.
She was vaguely aware of the tea being put in her hands as she stared in front of her, a few tears leaking down her face, foreshadowing of what was very near to taking over the girl. She sipped at it, but couldnt do any more then that. It was painful going down her throat, even if it was dry. Drinking it just caused Roan to begin coughing again before she set the mug down and wiping blood out of the inside of her mouth. Roan shook her head in frustration and the tears picked up. She grabbed the damp cloth that had been abandoned on the bedside and cleaned the blood of her hand. What Carrie had said was true, but Roan couldnt bring herself to say anything right now. It was like her voice was just not there for her. She nodded at the nurse, unable to find the right words to say. Roan was really grateful for Carrie and her work and advice, and she would thank her a lot later, just not right now. She wasnt able to do much of anything right now, well, except cry.
The girl drew her knees up to her chest and buried her face in them. Roan let her tears flow out as her body was wracked with very painful sobs. Her organs had not completely healed yet and such movement was detrimental for them, but she just cried through the pain. Why had she made such a stupid mistake? Why? It was so bad for her right now to have such a burden on her mind, because it would become a burden on her body. Roan let her hair fall down around her face as she sobbed into her knees, so upset for everything that had happened. She didnt even want to see the Headmaster right now, she just wanted this all to end.
She had shoved away her friends and done harm to them, when all they had done was care. Roan had not taken heed to how dangerously unstable her emotions had been at the time, not noticed how much pain she was causing. The girl was not stable in any aspect at the moment, not after that time with Syrus. It would take recovery for that before she was back to normal, and until then she would probably be very touchy about things like what she thought were orders. The Prefect hung her head again before slowly going in to lay back down on the bed, feeling hopeless. She realized she didnt want her friends gone, she wanted them by her side so that she had someone to talk to that would be kind about it and offer some support while she waited to tell her story to the Headmaster. But like every single battle she was in, like all conflict, Roan had messed up greatly, and ruined everything. Now she was alone for now, her friends had left her, and it was all her fault. Guilt was not what Roan needed right now, but she had to live with it.
Carrie was still there, but Roan had become more distant. She was barely aware she wasnt lying down when she layed back, but instead propped up by her own pillows. A good thing too, the girl was close to falling asleep as she lost all her will. Her hazel eyes were closed and there was anguish on her face as the stress just kept on piling on. Soon Roan would just lock herself in a padded room away from the world where no pain could come and damage her, and she could be whole again and recover. The covers were drawn up over the girl, and the Hufflepuff nodded in thanks, not wanting to do much more then that. It was nice to be in a bed and starting to warm up after all that had happened, getting some rest as she let weariness claim her body and her mind, rolling in like a fog. She was so upset though, her fever was rising and her breathing quickened. Roan didnt know what was going on, she just was so focused on the mistakes she had just made, and the pain she had just gone through in the past. Syrus's face was burned into her memory, and it was because of him she wasnt able to function properly. But this, getting on bad terms with her friends, that was Roan's fault.
She was vaguely aware of the tea being put in her hands as she stared in front of her, a few tears leaking down her face, foreshadowing of what was very near to taking over the girl. She sipped at it, but couldnt do any more then that. It was painful going down her throat, even if it was dry. Drinking it just caused Roan to begin coughing again before she set the mug down and wiping blood out of the inside of her mouth. Roan shook her head in frustration and the tears picked up. She grabbed the damp cloth that had been abandoned on the bedside and cleaned the blood of her hand. What Carrie had said was true, but Roan couldnt bring herself to say anything right now. It was like her voice was just not there for her. She nodded at the nurse, unable to find the right words to say. Roan was really grateful for Carrie and her work and advice, and she would thank her a lot later, just not right now. She wasnt able to do much of anything right now, well, except cry.
The girl drew her knees up to her chest and buried her face in them. Roan let her tears flow out as her body was wracked with very painful sobs. Her organs had not completely healed yet and such movement was detrimental for them, but she just cried through the pain. Why had she made such a stupid mistake? Why? It was so bad for her right now to have such a burden on her mind, because it would become a burden on her body. Roan let her hair fall down around her face as she sobbed into her knees, so upset for everything that had happened. She didnt even want to see the Headmaster right now, she just wanted this all to end.