"I promise." Those words offered Zeph comfort. He wrapped his arms around Draven, his sobs becoming breaths and stray tears.
"I love you." He said, but it sounded more like 'Ah ruff fyou'.
But he still had that feeling. That feeling that Draven would do something. And the feeling made him feel sick. And suddenly, that imagining of Gabriel and Draven, and all the blood, made him want to retch. He was sick to his stomach now, from the crying, from the self-hate that still raged within his blood, and the fear.
But when he looked beyond that, he wanted, no needed to be held right now. To be comforted, to be loved. He looked up at Draven. "I'm sorry for raising my voice at you...it's just...you understand, right love?"
He wrapped his arms around Draven's waist, kissing his clothed bellybutton. Oh god he loved him. So damn much. His adorable, beautiful, perfect, wonderful, amazing, intelligent, brilliant boyfriend. Draven.
"I love you." He had to repeat it. He couldn't hold back from saying it again.
He should have felt like an ass for lying to his boyfriend. For promising not to go after Gabriel when he had every intention of going after him. He didn't even feel a twinge. In his mind, this was the right way to do it. Go off and find this Gabriel without Zeph knowing. It would keep Zeph safe. That's all that mattered. Nothing else did.
"Ah ruff you."
Draven nodded and stroked Zeph's head. "I know, love. I know." He gave Zeph a soft smile as the Gryffindor looked up at him.
"I'm sorry for raising my voice at you...it's just...you understand, right love?"
Another nod. "Yes, I understand. I raised my voice first." That last part was tacked on as a way of justifying Zeph's yelling. Draven had started it, and few people could resist the urge to yell once they'd already been on the receiving end. It was human nature and thus completely acceptable. Especially from the one person Draven had difficulty finding flaws in.
"I love you."
"I know. I love you too."
He knew something else too, though: a first name wasn't enough to go off of. There were dozens of Gabriels and he was looking for one in particular. He had to keep prying for more information, as much as he could get out of Zephyrus. The thought of that, of possibly upsetting Zeph again, was difficult to accept but there was no way around it. He sighed and rubbed Zeph's back a bit before pausing to make the difficult request.
"The Headmaster is going to need more information than a name. What did he look like, Zeph?"
"The Headmaster is going to need more information than a name. What did he look like, Zeph?" Zeph looked up, and shook his head.
"...I can't tell you."
He had to make sure that Draven would stay away from Gabriel.
"...Have you been bullied before? Or ever saw someone walk out of a principal's office with a stupid smirk on their face?" He paused. "Those are the types of people who don't care what anyone says or does, they refuse to change their ways because they're having so much fun. No matter what, you can't change those people. In all reality, you could be the greatest damn thing in the world, but you wouldn't be able to change them."
He swallowed.
"Gabe is like them, I guess. But he has his reasons. Maybe he had a grudge against that guy, or was really angry or something. But one thing's for sure Draven..." He looked away. "...if you've ever tried to get help from a teacher when people are hurting you, it'll only get worse for you, no matter how good the teacher's intentions are. It's things like that that you have to deal with yourself."
He let go of the boy, and looked straight into those green eyes that he adored. "I won't tell you anymore, because it's for me to deal with. I'll handle him. Yeah, I might be afraid, but I can connect with him more than you. He knows what it's like to be used as a plaything. A chew toy."
He knew it. He bloody fucking knew Zephyrus would refuse to give more information but that didn't keep the anger from making a comeback. It wasn't a quick return, though, it was more gradual than it had been before. It started with Draven clenching his fists again, slowly evolving into a shaking of his body and a reddening of his face. It all built up while Zeph continued to offer what Draven thought was a weak excuse, those words feeding the flame.
"...Have you been bullied before? Or ever saw someone walk out of a principal's office with a stupid smirk on their face?... Those are the types of people who don't care what anyone says or does, they refuse to change their ways because they're having so much fun. No matter what, you can't change those people. In all reality, you could be the greatest damn thing in the world, but you wouldn't be able to change them. Gabe is like them, I guess. But he has his reasons. Maybe he had a grudge against that guy, or was really angry or something. But one thing's for sure Draven... if you've ever tried to get help from a teacher when people are hurting you, it'll only get worse for you, no matter how good the teacher's intentions are. It's things like that that you have to deal with yourself."
By the time Zeph released him and looked into his eyes, Draven's eyes were burning. He needed to cry so badly but he wouldn't let himself. He staved off the urge by narrowing his eyes in a piercing glare, one that seemed better suited for use against an enemy rather than someone he loved so much. But in a way Zeph was an enemy right now, by preventing Draven with the information he needed in order to help his friend. In that sense, Zeph was being loved and hated at the same time.
"I won't tell you anymore, because it's for me to deal with. I'll handle him. Yeah, I might be afraid, but I can connect with him more than you. He knows what it's like to be used as a plaything. A chew toy."
Draven couldn't take it anymore. He stood up, eyes wild as that British accent came back with a vengeance. "AND THEN WHAT? 'E MAKES YOU KILL SOME INNOCENT PERSON AGAIN? YOU KNOW THAT'S WHAT'LL 'APPEN!" Draven paused, closing his eyes so he could focus on his breathing. Once it had steadied again, he opened his eyes again and looked at Zeph. "No. You're not doing this alone, Zephyrus. I'm going with you and before you make your protest please hear me out." He'd kneel down at this point and put a hand over Zeph's mouth. Shut up and just listen.
"I'm going with you but I'll stay hidden. The moment things get out of hand, I'm running to the Headmaster for help. He's powerful, Zeph. He's present to protect us. Not taking advantage of that protection is completely daft."
He narrowed his eyes and pulled out his wand.
"Don't make me put you in a full body-bind to prevent you from doing this alone."
He was dead serious.
Last Edit: Apr 30, 2011 11:38:37 GMT -5 by ~Draven~
"AND THEN WHAT? 'E MAKES YOU KILL SOME INNOCENT PERSON AGAIN? YOU KNOW THAT'S WHAT'LL 'APPEN! No. You're not doing this alone, Zephyrus. I'm going with you and before you make your protest please hear me out."
His mouth was covered. He promised himself that he wouldn't get angry, that he wouldn't loose his temper and yell back. Draven made perfect sense, so there was no reason to argue. He'd lost all the heat from earlier.
"I'm going with you but I'll stay hidden. The moment things get out of hand, I'm running to the Headmaster for help. He's powerful, Zeph. He's present to protect us. Not taking advantage of that protection is completely daft. Don't make me put you in a full body-bind to prevent you from doing this alone."
It was reasonable. It wasn't as if he was going to stop Draven from doing what he thought was right. He took Draven's hand away from his mouth but didn't let go of it, instead, intertwining his fingers with Draven's. He looked into Draven's eyes as he did so.
"I'm not going to keep you from doing what you think is right. I'd never do that. I was just voicing my opinion. Please relax."
He turned Draven's hand over so the back was facing the ceiling, and he leaned over and kissed the knuckles.
"I don't doubt you, Draven. I don't doubt your power. I believe in you. And I want you to do what you think is right. I personally don't want you anywhere near him, but I'm not stopping you, love. I will, however, not tell you anything else about him. You'll find out when you 'meet' him."
He smiled softly. He still hated himself, but his love for Draven overshadowed that beyond comparison.
Draven was fully prepared for Zephyrus to argue with him as soon as the hand was taken from his mouth. He was completely ready for the Gryffindor's "No, it's too dangerous, I don't want you getting hurt, I can do this myself, blah blah blah hero complex blah" speech. He was ready and waiting to offer his own "You're daft, someone like that shouldn't be faced alone, he'll use you again, blah blah blah I have a hero complex too blah" counterargument. He just knew it was coming as Zeph interlaced his fingers with his own.
"I'm not going to keep you from doing what you think is right. I'd never do that. I was just voicing my opinion. Please relax."
It took longer for Draven to comprehend what Zeph had said than it did for him to open his mouth. The result: an exasperated sigh before he let loose with his counterargument. "Zephyrus, I mean it. I'm not letting you do this alo--" Realization. Zeph was saying yes. His eyes widened for a split second before he blinked quite conspicuously. "...What?" He was dreaming. He had to be dreaming. He'd been certain they'd be going in circles for hours over this! He was gobsmacked.
"I don't doubt you, Draven. I don't doubt your power. I believe in you. And I want you to do what you think is right. I personally don't want you anywhere near him, but I'm not stopping you, love. I will, however, not tell you anything else about him. You'll find out when you 'meet' him."
Zeph wasn't stopping him.
Zeph. Wasn't. Stopping him.
What in the name of all that was holy was going on?!
Draven blinked again, still too shocked to offer any kind of response. This...this was not what he'd been steeling himself for. He had been ready for a marathon argument of epic proportions, one that would likely lead to so much yelling that the librarian would throw them out into the hall where they'd continue the argument until the whole school was awake and the Headmaster came down and gave them a month's worth of detention for disturbing the peace and--
yeah.
Not this.
"I love you."
Another blink, then a shake of the head as Draven snapped out of it. Well, sort of. "Did you...did you seriously just agree to my terms? Without any protest? I--I don't have to put you in a full body-bind? You..." The boy leaned steadily forward, only stopping when his face was against Zephyrus's chest. He turned his head so he could breathe properly and continue to voice is utter disbelief.
"We're really going to do this. Us. Together. With me in hiding. Gabriel."
Yes Draven. Really.
Last Edit: Apr 30, 2011 16:09:50 GMT -5 by ~Draven~
"Zephyrus, I mean it. I'm not letting you do this alo--" It had been pre-prepared. Zeph chuckled.
"...What?"
The boy was shocked.
"Did you...did you seriously just agree to my terms? Without any protest? I--I don't have to put you in a full body-bind? You..." Zeph smiled, and as Draven slumped into his chest, he brought his hand to the younger boy's head and began to run his fingers through the soft hair.
"I never said you couldn't come. But hey, I'm your boyfriend, aren't I? Of courseI'd like to do things with you near, especially dangerous things."
"We're really going to do this. Us. Together. With me in hiding. Gabriel."
"Unless there is some compelling reason we shouldn't, it's safe to assume we are, my love."
He kissed the top of Draven's head. Zeph had a bad feeling about this. He really did. It didn't sit right with him. But he wouldn't say anything. He'd jinx it.
He hoped his gut wasn't right on this one.
"So when should we?"
He hoped not right then. He needed to be held from earlier, and he had to properly apologize to Draven for being the biggest dickbag ever.
"I never said you couldn't come. But hey, I'm your boyfriend, aren't I? Of course I'd like to do things with you near, especially dangerous things."
Nothing made sense anymore. Nothing. While yes, Zeph hadn't said Draven couldn't come, he had said "It's for me to deal with. I'll handle him." To the first year that was the exact same thing as saying he wasn't allowed to go. Exact. Same. Thing. So Zeph was contradicting himself. Draven let out a long breath as disbelief took a stronger hold. He had to be dreaming. Had to. Only explanation.
"Unless there is some compelling reason we shouldn't, it's safe to assume we are, my love."
Oh there were plenty of compelling reasons why they shouldn't. They were going up against a madman. A madman that scared you so bad that you killed people for him. They were just kids. Draven was a clutz and would probably trip if he really did end up having to run for Headmaster Windwaltz. They could end up killed. Yeah, plenty of reasons. They were doing it anyway.
"So when should we?"
When should they? When should they? Zeph was asking him? Draven looked into Zeph's eyes, that expression of utter disbelief still on his face. When? When should they go after Gabriel? Had his mind been clearer, he would have suggested giving it at least a week so they had time to plan for every possible scenario. His mind wasn't at all clear though. It was as if a dozen Wrackspurts had flown into his head, muddling up his thought process. Thus, his response was one word. One simple word spoken with utter conviction and no room for negotiation.
"Now."
Now, before you change your mind about me coming along. Now, before I change my mind about me coming along.
"Now." Draven's voice was firm. Zeph's smile faded, and his arms let go of the boy and drifted to his sides.
"Now? Are you sure? Maybe we should think, or at least plan something out before we run into this."
Because I hadn't when I went off and chased Gabe, he wanted to say, but the feeling in his gut overcame his speech. He felt so goddamn sick. He didn't want to have to do it then, and he didn't want to ever have to face Gabe again. He didn't even wanna think about the guy any more than he needed to. Which was barely at all.
Nausea overtook him completely, and his eyes widened, suddenly knowing what was going on. He shoved Draven off of him, and hopefully completely out of the way, a few seconds before he began to retch. Soon, whatever had been in his stomach rushed up and out, and splattered on the floor. He didn't care how many times he'd thrown up then, but he knew that after a while, he was dry-heaving, still feeling that sick, horrible, disgusting feeling from earlier.
His stomach was empty, he was shaking now, he'd maybe hurt his boyfriend, he was as worried as hell, he was scared, he felt sick, he'd been an asshole, he'd killed a guy, he'd fucked an eleven year old(who was now his boy friend) and taken his virginity, he'd been chewed to pieces by vampires and had just been having a yelling match with his boyfriend in a goddamn library.
Fucking perfect.
And all the self-loathing came back like a tidal wave and pulled him under.
"Now? Are you sure? Maybe we should think, or at least plan something out before we run into this."
For some reason, having his declaration put into question pulled Draven out of his stupor. The boy blinked, going over what Zeph had just said in his head. It was the exact thing Draven would have said if it had been Zeph suggesting they head out this instant. It made sense. Before he could voice his agreement, though, Zephyrus shoved him out of the way. Somehow, Draven knew what was coming.
He turned around to give his boyfriend some privacy while he literally spilled his guts.
Once he'd gotten to the stage of dry-heaving, Draven moved over to the table he'd been writing the letter at. Ink was still everywhere but at this point he didn't give a rip. All he cared about was grabbing that goblet he'd brought with him and filling it with water for his ailing friend. "Aguamenti," he murmured, keeping quiet because he knew Zeph's head was probably aching.
He returned to Zeph with the goblet in hand, pausing to clean up the mess with Tergeo. Once Draven's spot was restored to its state of cleanliness, he knelt down and placed a hand on Zeph's back. "Here, drink." He held out the goblet and gave Zeph a genuine smile. He chuckled a bit.
"At least now I know you've been eating this week."
Last Edit: Apr 30, 2011 18:05:41 GMT -5 by ~Draven~
"Here, drink." He reached out and took the goblet, downing every bit of the cold water. "At least I know you've been eating this week." Zeph laughed half-heartedly and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "We've both been blowing chunks lately, love." He gave the boy a small smile, despite his face beig a white as a sheet and his head was pounding and he felt like shit. He then decided that now was the best time to apologize.
"Look, Draven...I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being such a usless boyfriend and avoiding you when you probably needed me. I'm sorry I didn't come and talk to you sooner...I'm sorry for being the biggest dickbag ever to you...I shouldn't have hid away from you..."
Jeeze he was an asshole.
He loved Draven.
But he was in a love/hate relationship with himself.
"...Jeeze I'm a fucking asshole...."
He put his head in his hands and looked at the floor, glaring at it.
((HOLY FUCK SHORT POST FFFFFF. NEXT POST'LL BE MUCH LONGER AND A BIT LULSY MAYBE OKIES?))
Boy, was that ever true. First it was Draven with his hangover and fear of snakes. Now it was Zeph with his anxiety over facing Gabe. Apparently a bit of self-loathing too, given what the Gryffindor said next.
"Look, Draven...I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being such a useless boyfriend and avoiding you when you probably needed me. I'm sorry I didn't come and talk to you sooner...I'm sorry for being the biggest dickbag ever to you...I shouldn't have hid away from you... Jeeze I'm a fucking asshole...."
Draven sighed. Why did Zephyrus always have to blame himself for everything? Why did he have to blame himself for his very human reactions? People avoid contact with others when under stress. Yes, Draven had been worried about where his boyfriend got off to, but he was never angry about it. Not once did he consider him useless because of his absence.
He slid his hand back under Zeph's chin to bring Zeph's face to his. Then he kissed the Gryffindor, not giving a damn about the vomit taste in his breath. When you love someone, you don't care what their breath is like. He pulled back and gave Zeph another smile, gently stroking the fourth year's cheek. "You have nothing to apologize for. Nothing."
Draven kissed him so sweetly, so tenderly, Zeph felt his heart begin to melt. When Draven pulled away, Zeph realized that he hadn't been breathing. Draven smiled and him and caressed his cheek. Zeph leaned into the hand, his face becoming a soft pink.
"You have nothing to apologize for. Nothing."
"...I was still an asshole...You deserved to know...you had every right to know what was going on..."
He lifted his own hand and placed it on top of Draven's. He then realized that there was a strange feeling coming from down there. He decided to ignore it, and continue speaking.
"You can't say that I wasn't an asshole. You could've been in a lot of trouble or something, and I wouldn't have been there to help you."
Despite how depressed he was feeling, the pressure coming from down there made him realize that it was indeed an erection. The strangest one ever, too.
Maybe it was because of the fact that he hadn't been properly kissed in less than a week. Or maybe it was because he was tired. Either way, it was spontaneous.
"...I was still an asshole...You deserved to know...you had every right to know what was going on..."
And here we go again with the self-loathing. Draven merely lifted his eyebrows and tilted his head to the side, giving Zeph his best "you're being ridiculous and it's adorable" expression. And really, it was adorable. Troubling, but adorable. The older boy was still unsure of himself, still needed reassurance. Reassurance that Draven was more than willing to give him.
"You can't say that I wasn't an asshole. You could've been in a lot of trouble or something, and I wouldn't have been there to help you."
Draven laughed. "Oh I can't, can't I? What will happen if I say just that: will my head explode?" He cleared his throat. "Zephyrus Rayne, you weren't an arsehole for avoiding me all week." A pause...did his head explode? Nope! Told you so. "It was just a bit of writer's block, Zeph. Nothing life-threatening." Well...not entirely true. The letter was to get out of going home to a potentially homicidal homophobic father. Still, it's not like this was his last chance to write said letter. There was still time to get it written and sent out.
"I have the weirdest boner right now."
Remember that look of disbelief Draven had earlier? The eyes glazed over and the mouth a deep line in his face? Yeah, that look was back when Zeph made the above statement. There was a moment of completely awkward silence as he tried to come up with how to respond. In the end, he'd give Zeph a shy smile and blush a bit. "I...guess you must have missed me." Okay, now what? They couldn't do it right here, in the library. There were two issues with that.
One: It was loud. Two: It was messy.
Draven scratched the back of his head. It really was a dilemma. To his knowledge there was only one way to take care of...Zeph's predicament, and they weren't in the spot to do it. And walking around with...one of those...wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world. This had to be one of the most awkward situations he'd ever had the misfortune of being stuck in. And he had no idea how to get himself out of it.
Draven's disbelieving look was back with a vengeance.
"I...guess you must have missed me." Zeph laughed, nodding.
"A bit..." He techinically purred. Sure, he was playing along, but hey.
"...How do you suggest we take care of it?"
"If you don't want to, you don't have to. I can run off to the boy's bathroom and take care of it there." He laughed. He stood up, with the intention of doing so, but he was still shaky, so he wobbled a bit.
He gave Draven a thumbs up, and proceeded to take his robe off and tie it around his waist, the way he wore it whenever something like that happened. He waved to the boy, and was off.
He walked toward the boy's washroom, lossing his balance every now and then, walking around as if he were drunk. Yes no one was around, but it didn't mean that he couldn't cover up. He wondered if Draven would feel that awkward if he had a spontaneous boner around him too. Just thinking of Draven like that made it worse down there.
...It didn't help that he was thinking of the boy in sexy poses and clothing. Actually, one of his own sexual fantasies was Draven in a miniskirt. He remembered waking up one morning with a huge erection and mess in his pants over that.
And remembering it...oh god he needed to get those pants off.
Teagan Offline: This board is full of nostalgia.
Aug 22, 2020 8:39:09 GMT -5
Missing the old MH: gotta say missing when MH and all that was around.
Nov 6, 2019 0:02:30 GMT -5
Willow_lazy: why tf are there 400 posts about adidas
Sept 6, 2018 17:35:57 GMT -5
Azrael: I'm not hard to find, since I'm the only one there who goes by "Azzy", I'm pretty sure. XD
Feb 10, 2018 16:44:41 GMT -5
Azrael: Dunno if anyone still pops by here from time to time, but if any of you mofos do and still feel like gettin' yo nerd on, I've been hanging around this here place a bunch recently: www.roleplayerguild.com/
Feb 10, 2018 16:44:10 GMT -5
Azrael: hold onto your pantaloons
Jul 25, 2016 5:16:43 GMT -5